Memo To International Villainy Association

From the desk of Lady Loathsome
Sept 29, 2012


It has come to my attention that our dear IVA has gained a significant amount of new recruits. While this in itself is a happy development in our associations history (I needn't point out the previously plummeting recruitment rates paired with a previously unheard of retirement rates seen in previous years. Personally, I blame the growing market for political and corporate evil, but this memo is not a platform for my own theories which I'm sure you are familiar with) I have heard reports of some of the recruits not being... shall we say, up to snuff. Reports of inappropriate conduct have reached even me, in my negligible bureaucratic position as "Vice Co-Treasurer." Now, I don't mean to criticize our education staff, I know that Sister Sinister is doing all she can to procure scholarships for aspiring villains to attend one of the many fine academies of supervillainy, but I would like to offer my own advice for the young recruits and for the young recruiters.
Thus, I have compiled the attached list for aspiring supervillains and any others interested in the diabolical arts. Feel free to copy this list, maybe hand it out to your associates, post it up in the office, whatever you feel fit.

Attached >> "Advice for an Aspiring Supervillain"

1. Money is a necessity. As you may have noticed if you had done any sort of study of historical villainy, most, if not all, supervillains have copious amount of resources at their disposal. Now, I am not saying that villainy should be a pursuit left to the already rich and powerful, by no means! Most do not even necessarily start out as rich, but gain it through hard work, pulling yourself up by your boot-straps and persistent bank robbery and use of ransom. It's not a complicated thing to do, if you put your mind to it. (I know some will bring up names such as The Human Brick and Mr.Hobo-rrible, but can they even be considered supervillains? The Human Brick was a standard rager, and not too bright to boot. [Did we ever confirm that Mr. Hobo-rrible actually had a photon canon or was he just crazy?])

2. The majority of your time must be dedicated to supervillainy. I can except that some super villains choose to maintain a secret identity, but in ranks of the more successful and infamous we can see a distinct trend: if, at all, a secret identity ought to be an accessory to your villainy. Perhaps as a corporation owner or crazed aristocrat. Starborg, for example. I won't say too much, but he used his, lets say persuasive political identity to push for new base on the moon, playing well into his moon laser program. I see new recruits treating supervillainy as a "hobby" something you just "do on the weekend" which, to me, is a complete disgrace.

3. Costumes are a necessity! Even just a snappy suit in an interesting color, or a domino mask at the least, please people! This is the main difference between us and common criminals. Robbing a bank in a ski-mask and sweatpants makes you a bank robber. Robbing a bank in green spandex makes you a villain.

The good thing about Supervillainy, it's not as strict as Superheroship when it comes to powers. Yeah, it's a nice touch and often very helpful in getting one into the business to start with, but not necessary. I mean, you don't have to have telekinetics if you can pay someone to build you a tractor beam!

Hope this has been an informative lesson that helps YOU on your way to SUCCESS!